Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Bickering Blogfest/Bratty Kids and Best Friends No More

The Bickering Blogfest is tomorrow, June 30th. That's my birthday, so I'm posting a little early. Kind of an advance celebration if you will. If you're not already following my blog, I'd love it if you would!

Thank you to Kristen, at Take It As It Comes, for hosting. When you're done reading and commenting here, please click over to read the other entries and to follow those guys, too.

Quick aside: I had set a goal for my manuscript of 22,000 words by tomorrow, which means, hmm, another 1,596 words to go. Almost there, yeeehaaa! I'll get a few more in the bag tonight, then the rest tomorrow morning. Which means I'll have the afternoon for a birthday lunch with friends at my new best fun place to eat, PicNic Cafe and Dessertery. Yep. You heard that right. DESSERTery! Bet they'll have some kind of yummy cake for the birthday girl! Then either a massage or a movie after. Or both. Why not. It's my birthday after all. :)


This entry is an short excerpt from my novel, Churches, Chickens and ChiChi's. (For those who asked, chichi's is another name for ta ta's or breasts.) The MC, Sammy, is just home from Hollywood after twelve years away to take care of her mother who's had a heart attack. 'Home' is a rural community in North Georgia. Gracie May was Sammy's best friend through school until they had a falling-out their Senior year.


Walmart was just as she remembered it; big, noisy and full of cheap stuff. Already Sammy had seen two of her classmates, Shonda Sparks, who was now Shonda Fitts and had five kids in tow, and Seth Ball, who was in charge of the Garden Department and had helped them reach a planter from the top shelf. Neither of them had left Piedmont, and neither of them saw any reason to. Thinking of it made Sammy shudder.


She found her mother in the freezer aisle of the grocery section, reaching in the case for frozen berries. Those would be for Sammy’s morning smoothies. She couldn’t eat bacon, eggs and biscuits every morning or she’d never get a part when she got back to L.A.

She waved the jumbo package of Northern tissue at her mother, “I found it over in the Health and Beauty aisle, though Lord knows why they keep it there, this stuff isn’t healthy. We’ll have to go to Kroger for the chlorine-free stuff. They don’t have it.”

Living in California had changed Sammy’s eating habits and made her aware of her health. She chose not to rub chlorine bleach in her coochie every time she peed, or support a practice that was so obviously bad for the planet.

“Well, I’ll be. If it isn’t Samantha Eubanks,” a voice drawled, dripping with venomous sarcasm. Sammy knew before turning who the voice belonged to, and sure enough, it was Gracie May.

“Why if it isn’t Gracie May Williams,” Sammy returned, mimicking Gracie May’s tone. “My, but haven’t we grown up.”

Out was more like it. Gracie May had put on fifty pounds if she’d put on an ounce. Her double chin rested on pendulous boobs and her hair boasted a jet-black dye job, a bad one that frizzed around her head.

Two snotty-nosed kids writhed behind her, slapping at each other and fighting over something the boy was holding. Just then the girl, the spitting image of Gracie May at eight, reached out and slapped the boy in the face. He squealed and attacked her, using his fists in retaliation.

“See ya later, Gracie May. Looks like you’ve got your hands full,” Sammy said, grabbing the buggy and dragging her mother with her.

“Oh. My. God.” Sammy laughed when they were away from the ruckus. “Let’s get out of here, Mama. Whatever else you need we’ll get it at Kroger.”

“Come on,” she hissed when her mother hesitated to look back in the direction of Gracie May’s bellows.

Sammy pushed the cart to the far checkout lane and got her mother out of Walmart as quickly as possible. Gracie May and the terror twins were nowhere in sight as she bundled the groceries in the trunk and slammed the lid.

Making sure her mother was buckled in, she put the bug in reverse and skedaddled.
I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it. Please click on the comments below and leave your thoughts as a momento, uh, birthday present. Unless of course you hated it. And, yes, I want to know that, too.

Thanks for stopping by! Olivia
P.S. Don't forget to click over and read the rest of the entries.

9 comments:

Donna Hole said...

Hey; I recognize not only that store front, but possibly my car in the parking lot.

Weirder and weirder.

Man, that is so a WalMart scene. Very nicely done.

.......dhole

stu said...

A nice contrast between the two characters, and the bickering doesn't occur quite where you expect.

Olivia Herrell said...

d, your car is parked by mine, no doubt, lol! Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I'll be by your place later this evening.

stu, thank you for following and commenting. I thought I had more bickering scenes but when I combed through there weren't so many.

This one was set up to be a confrontation between the mc and her old best friend but as I was writing it, the kids just would NOT behave so this is what happened instead. I had a lot of fun writing so I thought I'd share it here. I'll be by to read your entry tonight! :)

~Olivia

Eric W. Trant said...

You're gonna have to change it from Rebel to Redneck with a Blog!

;)

Reminds me of home. Pendulous boobs. Priceless.

- Eric

Tiffany Neal said...

Oh I heart Walmart and Walmart stories. Seriously could be a scene from Where the Heart is with Natalie Portman and Ashley Judd.

Loved it and my car is parked there as well...daily. :)

Kristen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristen said...

Happy Birthday! Your entry was really good! I think everybody has an awkward I-ran-into-the-person-I-hated-most-in-high-school-at-Walmart-story (I have like three of them...) LOL! Thanks for participating!

elizabeth mueller said...

Happy birthday! Have fun and don't worry about us. Wonderful post. Great tension!

When you get the chance, come by and tell me what you think of my entry! :)

Olivia Herrell said...

Eric, you ALWAYS make me laugh, thank you! Are you calling me a redneck, sucka?? According to Jeff Foxworthy I probably do meet at least one of the qualifications. Like...you know you're a redneck if you laugh like an idiot when you write a Walmart fight scene in to your manuscript!

Glad I could give you a warm, fuzzy home memory, hehe.

Tiffany, aww, hearts for Walmart. Glad to know my car has good company. Thanks for stopping by and following. I'll be over to reciprocate shortly. :)

Kristen, thanks! And thank you for hosting, I'll be back there shortly.

Elizabeth, I'm glad you liked it. Can you tell my mc won't get off so lightly next time?? Yes, I'll be over in a minute. And thanks for the birthday wishes, both here and on FB!! You rock!

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