Thursday, February 3, 2011

You've Come a Long Way Baby Blogfest/Contest


Link to Christine

I'm posting my entry to Christine's You've Come a Long Way, Baby Blogfest/Anniversary Contest a day early. On Saturday, February 5th you can click over to read the rest of the entries. But click over now to enter the contest. And to add an entry of your own if you would like.

From Christine's website:

You don't have to participate in the blogfest to be entered in the contest. Winners will be chosen randomly among everyone who has become a follower of The Writer's Hole and posted a comment that they want to enter, by Saturday, Feb. 5th.
You can earn additonal entries as follows:
+1 for promoting the contest on your blog
+1 each for tweeting or posting on FB
+2 entries if you put up a sample of your own early-in-my-learning-process, sort-of-awful-but-I-don't-mind-embarassing-myself writing.
+1 more for a rewrite of it, showing off your improved skills.

In 1969 there was this boy. He excited me a little, though at twelve I didn't quite understand what that was all about. What I did understand were the poems that he wrote. I also understood that if my friend could write a poem, then there was a good chance that I could, too. Over the years I lost touch with that boy. But I never stopped writing poems.

In the mid-80's, I lost the entire collection in a bad break-up. I ran away from that house with the clothes on my back, grateful to be alive. Maybe one day, when I'm a famous author, those poems will turn up on the market somewhere. One can only hope.

In 1989 there was another boy. Hmm. Boys and poems just go together don't they? This poem was inspired by him.

I see a few changes I could make to tweak this and make it better. But I don't get much practice writing poetry these days. Guess I need to find me a boy for inspiration.

Your gray eyes still haunt me
Day-in, night-out
A ghostly, almost scary feeling
At the lone bedtime
An emptiness.
An "I miss you" feeling
Almost...yet
I don't even know you.
Who are you
That you've taken control
Completely of my senses
Without touching me.
Probably without even
Knowing what you've done.
Sometimes I wonder.
I'm not completely sure
I'm not insane.
The need grows
And seldom fades
Beyond the realm of consciousness.
Why am I so certain
Yet so confused?
Knowing yet not knowing.
I don't want to love
Not you - no not even you.
It hurts too much
Tears tend to overshadow smiles
At times.
But yes -
I'd try it
For you.
You weigh heavy on my mind
And on my senses.
Your name lingers
On my tongue
And parades across
The edge of my thoughts
Sometimes there's a cadence
Marching, marching.
Calling your name.
I can't keep you away
Please go - no don't.
You're an illusion anyway -
Something beautiful I've imagined.
I can't touch you
I can only feel you.
The mirage that never satisfies
Yet beckons without mercy.
~ Olivia J. Herrell

Yeah. Well. There it is. Maybe I'll come back on Saturday and play around with it, fix it, make it a little more purdy. And I'll come by and read the other entries.

Don't forget to enter the contest for a chance to win some great prizes. And enter your own writing. Join us.

17 comments:

Roland D. Yeomans said...

I've just dragged in from a frigid on-call blood run. My mind's as numb as my body. But I wanted to wish you luck in the blogfest/contest, Olivia. Have a warm end of week, Roland

Alison Pearce Stevens said...

I like it, Olivia! It captures the angst of a crush. Thanks for sharing.

Michelle Gregory said...

wow. that gave me goosebumps because it reminds me of the way my female MC feels about my male MC. can i copy this and store it on my computer? this is great inspiration.

Arlee Bird said...

Nice expression of the feelings of longing and being doubtful about being involved. Those feelings sure can inspire stuff like that. I always feel so inspired when I'm down and out--bummer.

And it's also a bummer when you lose a bunch of your writing. I hate it when that happens.

Lee
Tossing It Out and the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2011

Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barré said...

Roland, I hope you get some well-deserved rest this weekend. I know you're intimate with zombies and all, but we wanna keep you on this side.

Thanks, Alison!

Michelle, absolutely. I am honored. Truly. This was me, all raw and ragged. I don't think I've ever shared these before, come to think of it. I have more. Say the word and I'll share. :)

BTW, I love your new book cover and the latest look of your blog. I was in there earlier today but didn't get to leave a comment 'cause my cat climbed in my lap. I'll be back.

Arlee, ain't it the truth? I'm looking forward to the A-Z and have been jotting down topics by each letter as I think of them. Amazing how doing that making some space in my hard drive/brain. It's all stuff that's been rolling around up there, anyway.

~Olivia

Dolly said...

I really love this poem Olivia you capture the feelings exactly. Don't change it! I think I will come back to read it every so often. Lovely. And good luck with the competition. And hope Bugsy is keeping well.

Unknown said...

I hope you revisit this piece, because its emotional bones are strong. With a little sprinkling of poetic devices like metaphor/simile, alliteration, assonance, etc., I think you'll easily take it to the next level.

Best of luck with it and all your writing projects! Happy weekend :)

Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barré said...

Thank you, Nicole! I'll be by your entry later today or tomorrow. I'm rushing off to Villa Rica for the weekend.

~ Olivia

N. R. Williams said...

Hi Oliva...nice poem. I'm not doing this challenge, too tired from my blog book tour.

I read your HSP post and have to say, we could be twins. I'd never heard of this, but I finally understand why my siblings and I don't get along.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

Unknown said...

OMG I lovvvvvve this! Mirrors a similar feeling I'm feeling right now. Resonant.

Dawn Embers said...

Great idea! If I'd wanted to really show change I should have posted a poem from junior high and one from college, lol.

I like this poem. The sounds of each line really echo the emotions that were felt during the writing. Well done.

Nighfala said...

Yes, it needs editing, but what a great job you did of capturing those excruciating adolescent emotions.

Thank you so much for joining the blogfest, Olivia. You are the only poet so far!

dolorah said...

Aw, romance . . Always about a boy :)

A lot of heavy emotions in this. Very expressive. (You can tell there is no poetry in me?)

It is clear poetry is in your soul.

........dhole

Unknown said...

Romance, angst and poetry - that was the map of my life ;)
"I can't touch you
I can only feel you."
This is an emotive piece and it is well worth a revisit. This made a refreshing change.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I totally like the poem!!! Thanks for sharing!

Velvet Over Steel said...

Very nice poem, Olivia!! I recently found my collection of poems from highschool, 30 years ago. Like back then and still today, I seem to be inspired to write a poem because of encounters with a boy or man (depending on the maturity) :-).

Sorry to hear about your encounter in the mid-80s. I've been there & very glad that we both made it out alive and with the possitive attitudes & appreciation about life that we both have. Thank you for sharing. It helps so many to share.

Hope you are well, safe and warm this winter!
Hugs,
Coreen xoxoxo

Unknown said...

What beautifully executed emotion and flow. Gorgeous!

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