Dump and Burn

 I.

Am.

Angry.

There. I said it. I'm angry.

It is a righteous anger. A better-than-this anger. A get-out-of-my-way anger. A white-hot, searing, eff-you-and-your-horse anger.

That burns no one but me.

I suck it up rather than spitting it out. Then it rots my insides, eating away at my creativity, my motivation, my drive.

So I sulk.

Hide.

Mumble curses beneath my breath, calling things and people who don't conform to my expectations lovely names that would make a hardened criminal blush.

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I need space.

Quiet.

Alone time.

You get none of these when you live with someone. Which is all well and good, until it's not.

Yes, I love the not-being-alone part, and not having to be solely responsible for every little detail around the house. The feeling of belonging. Kinship. Family. And, love.

But I need to be able to spread out, to have room for all my (quite limited) stuff, to be slovenly for a day or two or five if I choose. Then there are the days (weeks, months) when I'm in writing mode and need total silence. To withdraw from all but my characters and their world.

Talking and/or listening to the living interrupts my process. And no, it doesn't matter whether the interaction is in person, online via email or social media, or by phone. ANY interaction flubs the dub.

Bottom line, I create better when left alone, when I am allowed to live in the world I'm creating. Each and every this-world interaction I have whilst in creation mode kicks me out of my fictional worlds.

And, THAT, dear rebels, is the root of my anger.

My life is in turmoil. I have a tiny writing area that is also my bedroom and my evening relaxation/TV-watching space, which is bad, bad, bad for productivity; and the outside of the house is being painted by a one-man crew so it seems to be taking forever.

On top of these daunting distractions, Covid renders writing in restaurants and coffee shops unsafe. My local library is noisy (don't even get me started on their lack of a no-noise policy). And wah, wah, wah, wah, WAHHHH!

THIS is the garbage going on in my head.

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Invariably, I give up and watch one of our many streaming services, taking solace in other writers' creations. I like to call this research, and it usually is, but there's that little thing called the Awen Trilogy that is clamoring to be finished. And I was recently reminded, not too subtly, that my readers are impatiently waiting for Book Three.

AND WAIT! Let's not forget the yet-unfinished Part III of the Awen Prequel, The Druids of Marduk: AboveEarth. Yes, let's throw that on the pile too.

So the push-pull, yank-tug is a real thing. One that has been kicking 'me arse' and setting off all sorts of passive-aggressive anger issues, mostly, thank God, between me and me. 

But y'all know this scallywag rebel writer. Something always happens to pull my head out of 'me arse'. Let's just hope that something happens soon.

Y'all keep reading and I'll keep writing!

That Rebel, Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O. J. Barré

P.S. While this post is entitled "Dump and Burn", the term is normally used to describe: "a fuel dump in which the fuel is ignited intentionally, using the plane's afterburner. A spectacular flame combined with high speed makes this a popular display for air shows or as a finale to fireworks. Dump-and-burns are also referred to as "torching" or "zippos" ~ courtesy Wikipedia.

O. J. Barré is the author of the Awen Trilogy, a pre-apocalyptic urban fantasy set in 2042 Atlanta. Steeped in current, ancient, and future history twists, Book One, Awen Rising, debuted July 2019. Book Two, Awen Storm, released May 2020. Book Three, Awen Tide, is on preorder and will be released in 2022. All are (or will be) available in both paperback and ebook.

O. J.'s Awen Prequel novelette, The Druids of Marduk, Part I, is available as an ebook for purchase on Amazon (or free by signing up for her newsletter). The second installment, The Druids of Marduk, Part II: UnderEarth, is an ebook novella also available on Amazon. Part III: AboveEarth, is scheduled for a 2022 release.

Once in a New Moon

 I. AM. STOKED.

Today was a good day. An exceptional day. A red letter day.

Funny. I don't write that, or think that, often. Huh. In fact, it's a rarity. Here's one. And another.

This writing gig can get hard at times. Especially as an indie. Indie authors do EVerything. From idea to finished product to publishing and promoting.

But once in a new moon, the veil parts a little, and a way opens. A way to. A way through. A way there and back again.

Today was such a new moon.

Over my four-day Labor Day weekend that culminates today, I hit the motherlode. No. I can't tell you what it is. You'll want to savor those twists and turns down the road. But what I can tell you is that I have most of the rest of the storyline for Awen Tide. And rebels, this is a doozy!

Did I tell you I'm stoked? 

I can also tell you that, unrelated to that brilliant stroke of genius (thank you, dear Muse), today I wrote the first chapter for a new character—one I hope to write into her own spin-off series. Assuming we all love her, that is. And, yes, I have been noodling a Paranormal Women's Fiction series and this character, Elise Hester, is PERFECT for the starring role. 

I present to you, Elise's first lightly-edited lines. Can you get a sense of her in this brief excerpt? Do you like her? Hate her? Think she needs some work? Hehehe, that's a loaded question, rebels. All my characters are deeply flawed. That's why we love them so much...

******************

Elise Hester turned up the volume on her headphones, determined to blot out the annoying Sergeant's tirade. But, even glass walls and an unreliable witness couldn't compete with Banner's abusive language. Tapping on the glass, she glared and pointed at her sensitive ears. Banner flicked an offensive finger and turned his back.

The pressure inside her approached DEFCON One. Elise smashed her headphones against her ears to blot out Banner and the other ever-present voices. When that didn't work, she ripped them off and let go a long, silent screech followed by a string of swear words that propelled her from her chair.

She'd been confined to this loony bin too long.

Sliding her headphones into a case and the case into her large, pleather purse, Elise paused to inhale and exhale and did it two more times. Then, checking her plastered-on smile in the mirrored doorframe, Elise burst from the office and paused, snorting at the irony of being confined to the coveted corner office.

Like an office with a view could make up for being benched in one's prime.

Hell, the Alien Intelligence Agency was Elise's life. Had been for the last forty years. They had recruited Elise straight out of druid school, then whisked her to Europe at seventeen. Now, she was more agent than druid.

But Elise would go crazy if she didn't get back in the field soon. Or at least stateside. And, according to HQ, that wasn't happening. Not anytime soon.

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Well, what do you think?

I hope your weekend was as wonder-filled as mine. Here's to continuing blessings from the heavens above and below.

Y'all keep reading, and I'll keep writing

That Rebel, Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O. J. Barré

O. J. Barré is the author of the Awen Trilogy, a pre-apocalyptic urban fantasy set in 2042 Atlanta. Steeped in current, ancient, and future history twists, Book One, Awen Rising, debuted July 2019. Book Two, Awen Storm, released May 2020. Book Three, Awen Tide, is on preorder and will be released in 2022. All are (or will be) available in both paperback and ebook.

O. J.'s Awen Prequel novelette, The Druids of Marduk, Part I, is available in ebook on Amazon or by signing up for her newsletter. The second, The Druids of Marduk, Part II: UnderEarth, an ebook novella, is available on Amazon. Part III: AboveEarth, is scheduled for a 2022 release.