Milestones Blogfest/The End of Seeking

Thank you to Donna Hole for hosting today's Milestone Blogfest! I can't seem to finish the post I've been working on for days (yes, angels, I'm stuck again) so I am reposting an article from September of last year. While it isn't current (as in of today) it was a huge turning point in my life, the milestone that gave me permission to be where I am today: living a simple life and writing.

I call this milestone The End of Seeking Aka The Light at the End of the Tunnel. Read on. And when you're done, click on over to Donna's for the links to read the rest of the entries. I'll be doing the same thing.

What milestones brought you to this moment, this place, this time?
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A woman met a man she didn't want to meet.
She liked him. She saw in him a burning light.
From deep within a feeling unbidden
overwhelmed the woman. The feeling
frightened her. How could this be from the
sight of the light in the man she didn't want
to meet? The woman sat still. A memory of a
far off place came to her and remembering
the beauty, the awe and the wonder, her fear
left. The man talked on, unaware. His flame
burned bright in the night. - Olivia Herrell

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This is from my personal library, and was penned painstakingly one February, years ago. I was early in recovery in AA, stinging from a long weekend in Hilton Head with my wonderful, but alcoholic mother, who'd spent the entire weekend whining about anything and everything in general, but mostly about me in particular.

There was a man in my life, just then, who was a member of Al-Anon, the sister organization to AA. Though I was sober in AA, I had no defense against my mother's drinking, nor against her tongue when she was drinking.

That man introduced me to Al-Anon, where my recovery continued and grew.

It's been almost 19 years since I started down this long road of recovery.

Over that time I have peeled away one layer at a time, doing personal inventories, making amends, clearing up wreckage, learning to say no. Then learning to say yes. I've spent countless hours in AA meetings, Al-Anon, group therapy, individual therapy, motivational seminars, ashrams, self-help books, meditation, walks in nature, journalling, writing, thinking, feeling, being, sleeping, reading, dreaming, changing...one cell, one breath, one heart beat at a time.

I've had good teachers. The best. And, I'm a good student.

But there was always another.

And another.

Today, that came to a rather abrupt halt.

I even heard the "eeerrrrrkkkkkkkk!"

It was a peculiar sensation. Rather like being slammed against a concrete wall. The wall at the end.

Now, for all my fellow seekers out there: Have you ever wondered how you'd know when you reached the end of your long search? I don't think I'd ever even pondered the question! Yet, now, here I am, at the end. And knowing it.

"What's at the end?" you ask?

The light.

The light that burns bright in the night.

The big surprise? There's really no surprise, at all.

It's what every weary seeker must find.

I don't feel cheated. Not at all.

I do feel deep gratitude. And relief. And not just a little silly.

I bow to my divine, to that burning light within me.

Baba Muktananda advised, "Honor your Self, Worship your Self, Meditate upon your Self. God dwells within you as you."

Tonight, I know, more than ever before, what he meant.

Thank you, to all my teachers. I love and respect and appreciate you, more than you may ever know.

And, thank you to Karen Anderson, Angelic Intuitive, whose loving Spirit helped me to recognize the end.

I will close with this. We all know this story. But...guess what! I found the teacup! :D

Taken from an NPR script:

A seeker has heard the wisest guru in all of India lives atop India's highest mountain, so the seeker tracks over a hill in Delhi until he reaches the fabled mountain. It's incredibly steep, and more than once, he slips and falls. By the time he reaches the top, he's full of cuts and bruises. But there's the guru, sitting cross-legged in front of his cave.

Oh, wise guru, the seeker says, I have come to ask you what the secret of life is. Ah, yes, the secret of life, the guru says. The secret of life is a teacup. A teacup? I came all the way up here to find the meaning of life and you tell me it's a teacup? The guru shrugs, so maybe it isn't a teacup.

~Olivia J, Herrell, September 13, 2009

More than anything, I hope this post gives you permission to look around your own life. Eyeball that huge milestone. What was the turning point that got you here? To today. Are you happy with where you are? If not, what would you change?

I changed everything. I sold my worldly goods, left my practice, changed coasts, stepped off the hamster wheel. I will admit that the dismount was less than graceful. I'll even admit that I did a face plant. It took a while for me to regain my sanity and my bearings. But thank God. Because that is what shoved me in to your world. And birthed my novels. So this milestone? It's a big one.

What about yours?

~Olivia J. Herrell

Picture of that rebel (yeah, that would be me) in Oak Canyon Park across the street from my apartment in Oak Park, CA. Even better, my sister (Cheryl) took this picture only a few months before I wrote this particular post. Good memories. :)

Alyson Noel Signs 7-Figure Deal For New Series

!Here's one for our vision boards!

According to the Wall Street Journal's Speakeasy on July 26th, "Immortals author Alyson Noël Signs 7-Figure Deal For New Series". Yes, angels, you read that right. Seven figures. A MULTImillion dollar advance. Woohoo! Go Alyson, Go Alyson! The following paragraph is taken directly from the article by Gina Bernal and will link you over to it:

Alyson Noël, author of the internationally bestselling Immortals series, has signed a new four-book contract with St. Martin’s Griffin imprint, brokered by Bill Contardi of Brandt & Hochman Literary Agents. A spokesperson for the author shared the details of the deal exclusively with Speakeasy, saying Noël will receive a “healthy seven-figures with additional performance bonuses that could double that.”

How about that! Click on over to read the whole article. Sounds like a great premise for the series, too.

Way to go, Alyson! We're happy-dancing for you!

This is a video of Barenaked Ladies performing "If I Had a Million Dollars". It was not the best vid of these zany dudes on youtube.com, sound quality-wise, but LOOK! They're performing live at Chapters Bookstore in Langley, BC, with the Bestsellers marquis right behind them! Woohoo! What will YOU do when you get YOUR multimillion dollar advance?? I think I would pay for all my blogger friends to have a get-together somewhere. Oh. And buy me some love, lol! Hey, I know. We'll get BNL's to play for us! :D

Psssssst, There is a message for you at the end of the post, underneath the Million Dollar video. Check it out while you're listening. :D


OMG, I have to share! Would you go over and read my new profile information? You've heard me talk about my current wip, but here's the reveal for my second one! What do you think?? I really, really want to know. :D

~That Rebel, Olivia

Bugsy Made Me Do It

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." ~ George Bernard Shaw

I played last night. Bugsy made me do it.

About the same time, at o' dark thirty, Bugsy must come inside. This six year-old feline rules my heart. But I am Alpha kitty, so he minds.

Every night for the last few weeks, he trots in and snarfs his treats. (Yes, I do know that these are the real reason he minds.) Then flops down on the floor, next to the chair where I commune with my laptop, and cleans himself. He's OCD like that. Must lick something on his body at least a thousand times a day.

When he's done licking, he sits on his haunches and meows. Tiny little 'let me out' mews. I tell him no and keep clacking, ignoring him. The mews crowd together, almost rapid-fire, and become full-on meows. I look at him and shake my head and tell him firmly, with attitude, "No!"

"Yeah right," he yeowls, intent on manifesting an open door, not quite understanding why this works most of the time, then doesn't, others.

I call him over and he sidles up to my hand and pets it.

It was then that I heard him.

"Play with me." His eyes said it. His body said it. It's oozing out of him, loud and clear, "Stop pecking on that thing for five minutes and play with me."

So I did. We played 'slap the mouse around' first. Then 'bat the string'. For twenty minutes he was the center of my Universe. We played. I took off my writing cap and made my comrade, and me, happy.

The other day at the thrift store, I bought a clock. It doesn't work, but there is a speckled trout painted on the front and an inscription that says,"Time to go fishing." While I'm not an avid fisherwoman, I love to put a minnow or worm on a rod, cast it out into the lake, prop it in a holder, then sit back and watch the bobber.

I know what that feels like—that lazy, hazy, hang-out-with-nothing-better-to-do feeling. I bought this clock to remind me to play. For my sake and my muse's. Now my cat is getting in on the action.

Dear rebels, do you stop to play? Do you have that special someone to remind you? What does your playtime look like?

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." ~ Plato

~ That Rebel, Olivia J. Herrell, writing as  O.J. Barré

O.J. Barré is the author of the upcoming Awen series, a druid science fantasy set in 2042. Steeped in current, ancient, and future history twists, Book One, Awen Rising (set in Atlanta, Georgia) is scheduled to debut August 1, 2019, in both ebook and paperback format. Book Two, Awen Storm, is slated for 2020. Book Three, Awen Tide, arrives in 2021. And should there be a Book Four, expect to see it in 2022 or later as Awen Unleashed.